Funny Jesus Songs for Bright Sunday

According to tradition in some parts of the Church, the Sunday after Easter is called “Bright Sunday” and in in some times and places it has been the custom to tell jokes on that Sunday as a means of celebrating the mirth that is ours in light of the Resurrection. As the Psalmist sang,

When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion, 

we were like those who dream. 

Then our mouth was filled with laughter,

and our tongue with shouts of joy;

then it was said among the nations,

"The Lord has done great things for them."  

The Lord has done great things for us, and we rejoiced.

(Psalm 126:1-3)

We have reason to laugh and rejoice. But, instead of jokes, I am offering for your amusement some funny songs that mention Jesus.

Earlier this week on the opening day of baseball season, our organist/choir director sent around this old song by Sister Winona Carr

Life is a Ball Game – Sister Winona Carr

Life is a ballgame

Bein' played each day

Life is a ballgame

Everybody can play

Jesus is standin' at home plate

Waitin' for you there

Life is a ballgame, but

You've got to play it fair.

That reminded me of another classic. I don’t know if there are any songs about Jesus and soccer (football to everyone but Americans).

Drop Kick Me Jesus – Bobby Bare

Drop kick me, Jesus through the goal posts of life

End over end, neither left nor to right

Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights

Drop kick me, Jesus through the goal posts of life

And maybe after the game, you might want to have a beer with Jesus.

Beer With Jesus – Thomas Rhett

If I could have a beer with Jesus

Heaven knows I'd sip it nice and slow

I'd try to pick a place that ain't too crowded

Or gladly go wherever he wants to go

Or chocolate?

Chocolate Jesus – Tom Waits

Well it's got to be a chocolate Jesus

Make me feel good inside

Got to be a chocolate Jesus

Keep me satisfied

After all, maybe God is just one of us.

One of Us – Joan Osborne

If God had a face what would it look like

And would you want to see if, seeing meant

That you would have to believe in things like heaven

And in Jesus and the saints, and all the prophets?

What if God was one of us

Just a slob like one of us

Just a stranger on the bus

Tryin' to make his way home?

And here is my all time favorite funny Jesus song:

If Jesus Drove a Motor Home – Jim White

If Jesus drove a motor home,

I wonder would he drive

pedal to the metal, or real slow?

Checking out the stereo.

Cassette playing Bob Dylan, motivation tapes.

Tricked up Winnebago, with the tie-dye drapes.

Christ is risen! Alleluia!

He is risen indeed! Alleluia!
Rejoice.
Be glad.
And laugh.

When the World Will End

Last year, the end of the world was much in the news as Harold Camping predicted May 21 as the day of Doom. He was wrong.

Now there is much talk about the Mayan calendar and the speculation that because it only runs through December 21, 2012, the end is near.

I expect to wake up on December 22, 2012, as I did on May 22, 2011, with the world still going on pretty much as it has.

I am confident about this because I am an Episcopalian. And as an Episcopalian I know when the world is going to end. It is really quite simple and, because I care, I am going to let the world know so everyone can plan ahead.

There is an elaborate set of rules for determining the date of Easter each year. Helpfully, there are Tables for Finding Holy Days in our Book of Common Prayer beginning on page 880. The Prayer Book even saves us the trouble of applying those rules by listing future Easter dates in the following pages.

And here it is . . .

The Book of Common Prayer has dates for Easter through 2089, but no further. Therefore, I predict the end of the world will come on or after April 3, 2089.

Remember, you heard it here first.


Actually, anyone wondering about the end of the world would do well to consider the following:

Jesus said, "But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of heaven, nor the Son, but the Father only." (Matthew 24:36)

And Paul wrote, "For he says, 'At the acceptable time I have listened to you, and helped you on the day of salvation.' Behold, now is the acceptable time; behold, now is the day of salvation." (2 Corinthians 6:2)

See also: C. S. Lewis and the World's Last Night